Feeling stumped and clumsy about being a college cheerleader for your child? Here are some suggestions for cheerleading success:

1. Start early. By introducing these topics during your child’s grade school or early high school years, you can help develop positive habits for you and your future college graduate . Thinking and dreaming about college can be as natural as planning for a birthday celebration or some other special occasion. In the early years, talk about your own college experience (or lack of). Giving context for what college means even if the idea is new in your family, can make the expectation of continuing for higher learning as easily anticipated as moving from eighth grade to high school.
   

   If you are starting with a 17-year-old instead of a 7-year-old, it’s not too late. To speed up the conversation, invite your student to a special college talk “meeting” (or series of meetings) at a favorite restaurant where phones and siblings are less likely to distract from progress. Prepare a list in advance of topics you want to discuss. Introducing the idea in a more structured format may help remind your teen that you see him moving toward adulthood and you are ready to have an adult discussion about his next steps.

2. Nudge don’t nag. You have to remember that it is not your name on the report card or on the college application. Even the most dedicated cheerleaders remain on the sidelines no matter how apathetic the spectators become. Ultimately students have to take responsibility for their own futures.

3. Motivate momentum don’t dominate details. Help your child become excited about school, get involved and do his best. But don’t force the decision sequence to match your priorities. “What do you want to do when you grow up” can start as a harmless conversation topic but can lead to picking a major and roommate for your student.

4. Cheer. Retreat. Cheer again. Sitting down with the list of cheerleading topics for parents and plowing through all the topics in one session would overwhelm even the most diligent student. So pace yourself. You don’t need to give the one perfect cheer of a lifetime. Instead aim for a sustained series of college conversations when the time is right for you and your child.

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